**Photo Portfolio**

Ok, so I'm going through my camera and gonna try to update my blog... So some of this goes pretty far back... This was an assignment that I had to for my HMHV class last semester... I had the topic of 'death and dying'... It seems like I have encountered death around ever corner in my life... I know so many people that have not even lost a pet and I feel that I have lost so many close to me... The reason I even chose this for my topic (as some of you may already know) is because of Brittany and my Grandpa Marshall... Brittany was/is my best friend and one of the most influential people i have had in my life... There is not a minute I don't think about her... And my Grandpa... I became so close to him and he helped solidify my desire to be a doctor (another blog on that to come)... Anyways we had to find different pictures that represented death and dying to us and do a presentation on them in class (not easy I might add, but I feel the need to challenge myself...) Anyways so these are a few pictures from my presentation....


This is a picture of Brittany, a monkey (that reminds me of her... I was going to put it in her casket with her, but couldn't... Maybe someday it will find it's way to her grave...) And this is my Grandpa Marshall's ring... He ALWAYS had it on and was the one thing I wanted... This is probably pretty obvious, how it reminds me of death... These two deaths represent the beginning (may) and end (november) of a string of deaths that happened in my family that year...

I put these flowers representing death, because, although they are 'dead' many people hang them and see them as beautiful... This reminds me to not always think of death as a bad thing... No matter how bad it hurts us here, it is a beautiful thing for those that have gone before us (yes trust me I know easier said than lived...

This picture... Well I was unsure of even putting this picture in my presentation but felt I had to... After Brittany had died (the end of that year)... You could say I went off the deep end... I wrote in over 13 notebooks... Filled them up... With poems quotes letters, everything... And I have to say that helped... But I was extremely suicidal, and at a very bad place in my life... I felt there was nothing left and didn't care and convinced myself I couldn't feel anything anymore... (in a sense I was dead)...I think Kenny, Amanda, Kaitlin, Missy and Jess saw me at my very worst... Surprised Kenny stuck around? I am... I am truly lucky to have had people pull me out of this... Because as far as I was concerned, at the time, I was done...
This reminds me of Brittany (one of her favorite poems)... It's hanging on my wall in my room... No matter what you are going through in life... There is always one person there... God... This took me awhile to realize... When I had 'death' happen in my life, I am guilty of asking the question "Why would you do this to me... How could you do this... What did I do wrong" Very easy to do...
This is a picture of the VA hospital... This is where my Grandpa Marshall had to go alot (because he was a Vietnam Vet) He was diagnosed here with Agent Orange... And later (possibly because of the Agent Orange) was diagnosed with stomach lining cancer, which ultimately took his life... This picture represents death to me because of all the death I saw there.....
Hospital, for a lot of people reminds them of life, babies being born, or new beginnings... However, this past year the hospital room I was in was filled with hurt over a mother dying... one of my best friends here lost her mother... And in one of the hospital rooms is where I watched her mother flatline and slip away from her... where I literally caught her from almost flipping off the bed... Hospitals are so full of life... but also of death....
This is a song that comes on all the time on my IPOD (that has 3000+ songs on it) and everytime it comes on I think of Brittany... There are so many times I 'forget' I know that sounds dumb... But when I got my MCAT score I wanted to call her, and it took me a second... oh wait I can't...

I also had another picture... Because even though many people see death as a bad thing... There is another instance where it is seen as a good thing... Many people (more males than females, not to be stereotypical, but yah) see hunting, and killing an animal as praiseworthy... Kenny's Uncle Scott Ballard (you can google him) killed that national record elk... his name is brutus! (yes they named him and mounted him in their house)... He is HUGE! And this definitely was a good feat for him!

So needless to say, death can be seen in both ways... And death is something that is very close to my heart and I feel like I have a lot of personal ties... So I thought this was a good, hard, but good presentation... Definitely tested me in ways I was not sure I could overcome...

I thought, and so many people around me have thought, that having so many people close to me die would shun me away from the medical profession... why would I want to do that and be around that so much... I think it even shocked people that when we had to diagnose a 7mo old baby with cancer, there was no other place I would have rather been... I want to do that... I want to work with kids and help them when they're sick... I'm not sure and I'm keeping my options open but something amazing is going to have to come up in MedSchool to change my mind about wanting to be a Pediatrician....................

**Hobbs America**

Ok, so I know I'm terrible at this... But I can actually put the whole last month in one post :) Well I think so anyways...

I spent the last week of June (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday) in Texas spending time with Kenny's family... We spent a lot of time in the pool because it was very hot and alot of time just visiting :) I love going to Texas and getting to spend time with everyone. I have no pictures from this trip because I tore my house apart looking for my camera and could not find it anywhere, so I didn't have it (or so I thought) I get back and continue looking for it, and well it was in my purse... I guess my purse must be a little too big...

We then had a BBQ with all of my family at my aunts house... We all ate and sat outside and watched fireworks, we didn't even have to get any. Fireworks that go about 12ft in the air are illegal in Albuquerque, but the WHOLE neighborhood was lighting huge fireworks, and the cops never showed up :) Some people also bought like a roll of blackcats, you think those little strips are long, or even those bricks... This "roll" seriously rolled down the whole street... It went continuously for 25 minutes... WAY too many blackcats for me (I don't really like them)...

Finally... to what I have been up to this whole month... I am (as the title states) currently in Hobbs America :) I got here July 6th and I am here until July 29th... I was EXTREMELY nervous about coming... Everyone said I would hate it, but I really don't it is a great town and has so much to offer! However, I am getting to the point where I miss my family and Kenny a whole whole lot... And I am ready to go home...

Anyways, why Hobbs?? Well my program sends us out in groups to shadow a ton of doctors and do a community project... Our community project is teen pregnancy (Hobbs is the highest in the NATION) It's unreal how normal having a baby is in 7th, 8th, and high school... Our group was originally supposed to have 6 people in it... And only 2 of us are actually here... So needless to say we are SLAMMED... We are required to do the same 10 page paper and 10 minute presentation as the groups of 5. I feel like we are up from sun-up to sun-down with no breaks in between... So I guess instead of writing a whole bunch I'll put some pictures in and say what I'm doing :)

Ok so I think this is a pretty terrible picture of me... But give me a break... This was after a LONNNG shift.. I worked 8AM to 5PM at Urgent Care with Dr. Hurt... then 6PM to 7AM at the ER with Dr. Velasquez and 8AM to 2PM... And then I had meetings with various people until 9PM... Homework after that and talked with Kenny and watched movies... So I didn't get to sleep til about 3 or 4AM and was up again at 645... So I was running on very little sleep :) But I had a great time... I always thought that I may end up in the ER, after this experience... NOPE! That type of environment is not for me, I just feel like everyone is rude and you don't get to have the type of relationship you want, at least I want, with the patients... But it was a good experience none-the-less...

This is Alyssa and I at a lake we found here in Hobbs... It's actually right across the street from our apartments at NMJC... Ok maybe it's pond but it's still really pretty :) And yes she is WAY taller then me haha.

This is a picture of one of the days of a 3 day camp we did at the boys and girls club... This day was talking about future goals and college and stuff like this... So I had the girls make a "Dreamboard" and this means they put things they want to do with their lives... And it blew my mind that EVERY one of these girls wanted kids, several, by the time they were 20 and they thought we were ridiculous wanting to wait to like 25 to have kids... They said we will be so old... And they ALL knew someone 16 and pregnant or someone 16 that already had a baby... this is "normal" to them... However, the end of today I had a girl come up to me and say "After you've been here, I really want to go to college" before she had not felt good enough to even think about college... So if we helped ONE person, I feel like it was a success... Day 2: Is a talk about self-esteem friends and bullying and Day 3: Is a talk about sex education.... So we will see how all that turns out... This is our main project, but we also plan to meet at the correctional facility with pregnant teens and we have done a presentation at the town meeting... So like I said we keep ourselves very busy... (and on top of all this we have tons of homework and writing assignments every week)

This is Kenny and I at Carlsbad Caverns (he came up one of the first weekends I was here to see me) I had such a great weekend with him and was SO glad I got to see him... When we were going into the caverns it was POURING rain and we were soaking wet, so it was a little cold walking through the caverns soaking wet... But so fun :)

These are HUGE spiders that are crawling all over the roads here... We thought it was so crazy you could see them from inside the car, they are HUGE! So we pulled over to get a picture of how big they were... Kenny thought it was fun to swerve all over the road to hit them... This is another picture of Kenny's visit... This is us at that lake :) We went and played catch for awhile and skipped rocks... This was a couple hours before he had to go back home :( Us in the caverns :) Awww... How cute right??? I'm crazy about this boy he is so amazing :) Another picture of us in the caverns... I made him stop like fifty thousand times to take a picture with me :) Cuz it was hard to get pictures of the actual caverns :) I have some, but they are not very good so I'm not gonna put them up here...

All in all my month in Hobbs has been SO great, I'm just ready to go home and be back with everyone... I got to Skype with all my roomies one night and I LOVED that it seriously put a huge smile on my face... I love all of them so much and I'm so lucky to have them in my life... Only a few more days left here and then I will be home and getting ready for school to start up again :)

I need to become a more regular blogger so the blogs I do post aren't so extremely long... Sorry...

**Weekend Getaway**

So Saturday, May 22 2010, Kenny's bank sponsors an event at the special olympics... The event they sponsor is called Bocce... Last year we volunteered and LOVED it, it was SO much fun! So he decided to sign us up to do it again this year.

Last year we had this guy named Jose, he was so funny, he asked us our names about a million times, and would get so excited when it was his turn to go... So this year we kept an eye out for him, we happened to get the same team he played for last year, and asked his teammate where he was, and his teammate Dominic said "He is no longer with us" Kenny and I both looked at eachother and were like crap he died... Then he got this like smirk/glare saying that he plays for the other team now... It was pretty funny! Kenny also almost got beat up twice by some of the competitors... One guy, we were judging, kept getting so angry saying we were cheating cuz we made him thrown both his balls before the other team (but it was because their ball never got closer to the palina) But at one point he literally got in Kenny's face and started yelling at him haha, but Kenny handled it very well, and explained the reason why to him like 6 or 7 times... And then we were going to turn in our clipboard, and an old competitor, like 70+, said I'm gonna freakin kick your butt (haha insert cusswords where possible) Kenny looked at me like what is going on haha...

So the Special Olympics, at least our part, only lasted from about 730-1230... So after 1230 we decided we were going to meet Justin and Dav out at Fenton Lake (they had camped there the night before) So we packed up, and wanted to take Mia but before we got onto the interstate she threw up in the car... She gets car sick, so we turned around and took her home, we're going to have to try giving her some Dramamine... It was like 1.5-2 hours out to the lake... It was such a beautiful drive, and Kenny and I just talked the entire time. It was nice...

We got to the lake and spent a couple hours there, then decided we wanted to go to the hot springs... I was in flip-flops, but I said I would be down to hike to the hot springs... Come to find out it was a 2 mile hike one way... There were alot of really steep parts, and it was a hard hike in tennis shoes... So my calves were burning once we finished... But it was definitely worth it... We had so much fun in the hotsprings... There were little fish that freaked me out, and the dog jumped on my back and scratched the heck outta it thinking I would give him a piggyback ride, but it was way fun nonethe less... I took a few pictures, so I'll post them... But I love having weekends to spend with Kenny, he is so incredible andd we have so much fun :) I can't believe we will have been together 7 years on May 30... Man time flies when you're having fun :)

These are the new hiking shoes, hott off the market :), don't you love them :)

This is us all sitting in the hot springs :)

Group picture once we reached our destination, don't you just love my hair, it made a cute little V haha (Justin, Dav, Me, Kenny)

Picture of one of the hot springs (there were like 4 or 5)

Pretty waterfall, we hiked half a mile in the wrong direction at first, but we ran into this so it was worth it... Our total hike that day was about 5 miles :) Not too bad :)

It was so beautiful there :)

**Spring Break**

Ok. So this is a little bit late, maybe a lot a big late, but better late then never :)

For Spring Break Kenny and I went back home. Kenny took the week off from work so he got a whole week off school AND work. (Or so he thought) As soon as we got home, we stopped by to drop off 11,000 feet of wire to my dad (crazy!) and we ended up staying and helping him pull wire... He has several jobs going right now for his business on top of working 60+ hours a week at the hospital... So needless to say he stays pretty busy all the time, and I honestly don't know how he does it all... But we got to help him pull wire, Kenny was pretty excited because he has been wanting my dad to teach him how and he got PLENTY of experience during Spring Break...

When we weren't pulling wire, every other minute was spent with our families... My sister, Bratty's, birthday was Wednesday March 17th and she turned 12, Jaeden's was Friday and he turned 10 and so was my dad's, he is 40 :) So we had 3 birthday parties :)

This is a picture of all the kids at their birthday party... we went to the bowling alley... lots of kids and lots of fun :)

We also took Avyonne and Kayden snowboarding and taught them... They were definitely good sports about it and said they would like to do it again (so that's good :) ) They fell quite a bit but picked it up towards the end of the day...This is a picture of the boys, taking a break on one of their runs down the mountain :)

On a sadder note, our Hedgehog died the day we were leaving back home... He looked terrible, he was blue in the face and we started calling around to see how much it would be to put him down... $98... So we went to lunch and I came back and looked at him, I didn't think he was breathing so I touched him and he was hard as a rock... I guess he didn't want us spending anymore money on him... Poor guy... RIP Knuckles :) Kenny was pretty sad, but the pet store is giving us another one because he had an auto-immune disease so it wasn't our fault and nothing we could do about it...Good news... We got another hedgehog... He is so little right now, and his name is Sonic... Hopefully soon he will be old enough and we will start breeding them :) I will try to post pictures of him soon...

I know this isn't much, and I didn't post near as many pictures as I have... Or get to everything we did over spring break... But I really shouldn't be on here at all... This week and next week are INSANE for me!!! So many tests, papers, tests... ugh... It seems like my teachers waited to the very end to pile things on... So let's just hope I can make it through these next couple weeks... Then SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER TIME!!!!

**Birthday**

Me and my aunt at my birthday party

Me and Kasyn at my birthday party Me and my sister at my birthday party :)

Haha well my birthday... Hmmm... I had class til 10 that night... (So no I didn't get trashed) But I had a break from 4 to 530 and Kenny took me to this really nice restaurant for dinner... I loved it and had so much fun :) And then I went to class and came home and did some homework... And then went to bed... Nothing too extravaggant.... I did get a lot of birthday texts and a few birthday calls :) Which was nice :)

This is what my sister and justin got me, my own longboard :)

This is Kenny and I headed to the elephant bar :)

Pretty flowers my aunts got me :)

Me And Darrell at my birthday party :) Haha well the night before Wednesday night, but aunts made me dinner and we all went over there and I opened presents from everyone... Got a whole bunch of cute clothes, Kenny got me a giftcard to the mall to buy more clothes, and a bunch of movies and candy and fun stuff :) He got me this movie called The Gifted Hands... If you haven't seen it I HIGHLY recommend it... I call it my inspirational movie... When I'm having a really hard week or feel like giving up I watch this movie and somehow decide to keep moving forward :) It has Cuba Gooding in it :) Anyways so after that I went home and did some more homework...

And Friday, my friend Candida took me to a movie and dinner... We went and watched Dear John (Another really good movie) haha I cried in it, I know I'm lame it's ok... And then we went out to Japanese Kitchen and they sang to me and threw food at me haha... And then we headed back to the house... When I get there I walk in and "SURPRISE!!!!" Haha there were like fifty people there for my birthday party (I know I still have birthday parties lol) It was so sweet of Kenny to plan a surprise party, especially cuz I didn't really get to hang out with any of my friends during my birthday or anything... This was right after the movie, as you can see I look like I have been crying haha :)

So overall, I had a wonderful birthday :) And I can't believe that I'm 21, it seems like I just got out of highschool and then I think about it and I have almost been out of highschool for 3 years, and am about ready to graduate from college...Life really does go by fast when you're having fun :)

Awww me on my birthday :)

Haha sorry the pictures are all over the place... This thing was not cooperating with me....

**Valentine's Day**

Ok... So I have decided that I just never get around to this blogging thing and it's terrible... But basically all that has happened for me in the last few months is school... That is literally all I do this semester... I am taking a full schedule and then on top of that I have an MCAT class that is 3 hours a night 3 days a week... And on top of actually going to the class, every other night I have 8 or so chapters of homework for it... And this is on top of all my other classes... But I take my real MCAT April 17th... So I'm hoping this class will pay off then :)

So needless to say, my days have consisted of school, homework, frequent breakdowns, little bit of sleep, and then repeating this process... So I'm both mentally and physically exhausted most of the time... I know this probably sounds really sad, or you may think I'm overexaggerating, but this semester has definitely been hard for me... I have even questioned being a doctor several times (always arriving at the yes I do want to do this)... But nevertheless it's been hard...

So I am pretty sure all that sounds like a bunch of excuses, and it probably is just that... But now onto Valentine's Day...

Kenny's family (his mom, dad, lexy, and kayden) all came up Friday night to spend the long weekend with us... They stayed til Monday (even though I still had school Monday, BOO on UNM) Anyways... So Friday I actually cannot remember what we did... But I am pretty sure we just relaxed :)We got up for breakfast... Bacon egg and cheese sandwiches, and the girls all went shopping and the boys went to some gun show or something... We didn't eat much for lunch cuz we were saving our appetites for Texas Roadhouse... So we went to dinner with his cousin, we were planning on going to Texas Roadhouse like I said, but it was a 5 hour wait for a party of 12... INSANE!! So we ended up going to Monroe's a really good New Mexican place here :) And then came home and watched some movies...

Kenny And I agreed that we weren't going to get eachother anything for V-Day, because we just bought a 46 inch TV for the bedroom... however, I knew he wouldn't play by the rules and get me something anyways... So this time I did the same thing... So I didn't look like a loser when he gave me a present and I gave him nothing (this has happened before because I usually do play by the rules)So Sunday morning we woke up, and I saw a box with a card, but looked past it because I still had not wrapped his present yet and went to my room and wrapped his present (he thought I was oblivious and just didn't notice it)... So I gave him his box and grabbed mine... Inside my box was a beautiful butterfly necklace, made with mother of pearls and amethyst... And I LOVE butterflies (read one of my earlier posts if you're curious why)...

And he opened his box, and it the bottom inside a toliet paper roll was this picture and the money needed to buy it... He has always wanted a hedgehog, and I knew he would never buy it for himself because he will spend the money on more practical things... So on Thursday (that's when they come in) we will be picking up the newest addition to our family, Knuckles the Hedgehog :)..... Haha yes we have the most random animals.... A rabbit, Hutch, a Cat Power step betty, a dog, Mia and we had a duck Miko, but he flew away... So I'm pretty sure he is super excited about his present because he keeps saying he cannot wait for thursday :)

So this is Knuckles... We now have two of these little guys... The other is a little girl she is even smaller, 5 weeks... They are such low maintenance and great pets :) and this pic was taken the first day we got him, but now we don't use gloves or anything :)
So we then got ready for lunch and went to Texas roadhouse right when they opened at 11, and got right in... haha not ten minutes later was there a 2 hour wait and the waiting area was packed... we lucked out... And per tradition, his parents told the waitress it was my birthday, so I had to sit on top of the saddle while they sang and yee hawed :) (I have done this the last 3 years)

But overall, the weekend was wonderful, and was really good for me because I miss my family and it was really nice to see them... :) Last weekend my family came up for my birthday so I got to see both my families in two weeks... It seems like it had been forever since I saw them... (I will blog about my weekend with my familiy during my birthday weekend, and presents and all that fun stuff later, just figured this would be the shortest blog because I don't have many pictures to put in here...)

**Promise**

I PROMISE, I will try to get better about posting stuff... My life is just so completely insane this semester I don't have time to do anything... but I will definitely try to update everyone this weekend... (I have a big Organic Chemistry test tomorrow, or I would do it now)

Anyways hope life is treating everyone well!