**Midterm Week**

Yuck!!! I had 4 tests in 3 days... Not fun at all... And the last one, biochem, I was running on an hour and a half of sleep... That class is rough! But anyways, I'm pretty excited that now I'm DONE and it's time for Fall Break... 2 whole days off from school!! Yay!!

I'll definitely keep myself busy with lots of fun things (and I'll post pictures of those things)... I can't believe Davydoo is gonna be 20 on Sunday!! Anyways, hope everything is going well for everyone!! Don't be too jealous of my Fall break ;) (and enjoy your break if you get one!!) I probably won't post anything until after Fall break!!

**Newest News**

Ok, so the most recent news I have is pretty big... At least for me... So I will be graduating in May 2011 with my bachelor's degree in Biology (no this is not the big news)... But the schooling has been rough, but I think it's finally paying off......

I have studied like crazy.... And September 3rd I took one of the biggest tests (so far) of my life... The MCAT, my goodness that test is MISERABLE and I believe it truly is designed to make you feel stupid... At least that's what it does to me... No matter how many practice tests you take or how you 'feel' you did you really can never tell... It's a 6 hour test with a couple 10 minute breaks, but it's rough...

So on September 3rd I went to take the test... (Back up just a little bit)... I was feeling really sick and I mean REALLY sick for probably a week... On Wednesday Kenny said you either go to the doctor or I'm taking off work and making you go... Needless to say I went... I get there and bad news... I had a severe kidney infection and UTI (I've had kidney infections before and was hospitalized for it because of how bad it got) Well my white blood cell count was through the roof... The doctor was not sure how I was even standing in front of her... I told her I had alot of pain in my back, it hurt to breathe and such, but I was still going to all of my classes, etc... She then told me that I NEED to go to the hospital, and be admitted... My reply to her.... "Sorry I can't, I don't have time... I have my MCAT on Friday" So, being as stubborn headed as I am, she was not convincing me otherwise... She gave me 1500 mg of antibiotics twice a day for a week (the very maximum dose) and I left...

So now onto the test... I went to take the test at 1... My sister dropped me off and we sang some in the car, and laughed some and prayed some, etc... I signed in and decided to take a walk (as I was pretty early)... I get back, they fingerprinted me (crazy huh?!) and I took my temperature... My temp was 103.7 as I was walking in to take this test that could determine my life (in my mind)... great... Well I sat down and started away with the test... There was no way they would refund the money or let me reschedule that's how intense this test is... And let me tell you I'm not wasting $230.00...

Kenny picked me up and asked how it went... I said no idea, probably bad... Probably not a very good idea to take that test that sick... But I told him it was completely outta my hands and God would let me know where he wants me...

One whole month later (that's how long the results take to come in)... I logged on, after taking my anatomy practical, somewhat expecting to see a failing score... To my surprise I PASSED! I was in disbelief... So I logged off and logged back in to make sure I was for sure... And yup sure enough I passed... Of course I had to call my mom and dad, this was my dream... The door was finally open right in front of me...

You have to understand what a big deal this is to me... I have wanted to be a doctor since I was 7... Not a single day since then have I wanted to be anything else... And this test determined a lot of that dream coming true...

MCAT Results: 28

So... I guess what I'm saying is if all goes well I should be starting MedSchool here at UNM this coming July... Can you believe it... Really... I'm gonna be a doctor!!!! YES!!!!

Thank you everyone for supporting me throughout this trying time... I know people (at least Kenny) have had to put up with my meltdown moments and freak-outs... And I'm sure those are only gonna get worse and medschool will be INSANE... But here we go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Concert Weekend**

Ok, SO we had a weekend of fun back in September... On September 18 Zac Brown Band came to Hardrock Pavillion here in Albuquerque... Ricky, Stef, Lacey, Shawn, Kenny and I all went... It was a BLAST! I loved how patriotic they were... Definitely a GREAT show and I highly recommend going if you get a chance... (I know Miranda, you're jealous ;0) The crew went home the next afternoon... Kenny and I however, had bought tickets to go to the Brad Paisley concert on September 19... we got there at about 3 and didn't leave til about 1130... It was crazy, there were so many performers... Steel Magnolia's, Justin Moore, and I can't remember the others... whoever sings 'you might meet them both if you show up here unwelcome son' but they were all great performers as well... However, I have to admit that the reason we had even bought the tickets was not even to see Brad Paisley (sorry) but actually to see Darius Rucker... We both LOVE his music and it was AMAZING!! He played some of his country songs... and some of his hootie songs... so pretty sure everyone there heard something they liked :) Brad Paisley, is an amazing entertainer and very crowd oriented, however... He would walk around, show music videos... Definitely another great concert... So, two concerts in one weekend, needless to say we were EXHAUSTED the whole next week... Not sure how many double whammy weekend concerts we will do, at least not this semester... But it was still a lot of fun :) Here are some pictures, my camera started to die near the end and didn't take very good ones of the stage, but that's ok :)

Lots of pictures to sort through... But we had so much fun and I'm so glad that we got to go... However, we probably won't do a double whammy like that for awhile... We were exhausted and got behind with our schoolwork... But no worries, glad it's almost over now! :) another week and we get a 1 month break! (I know this is WAY late, but hey I get busy =) )

**Photo Portfolio**

Ok, so I'm going through my camera and gonna try to update my blog... So some of this goes pretty far back... This was an assignment that I had to for my HMHV class last semester... I had the topic of 'death and dying'... It seems like I have encountered death around ever corner in my life... I know so many people that have not even lost a pet and I feel that I have lost so many close to me... The reason I even chose this for my topic (as some of you may already know) is because of Brittany and my Grandpa Marshall... Brittany was/is my best friend and one of the most influential people i have had in my life... There is not a minute I don't think about her... And my Grandpa... I became so close to him and he helped solidify my desire to be a doctor (another blog on that to come)... Anyways we had to find different pictures that represented death and dying to us and do a presentation on them in class (not easy I might add, but I feel the need to challenge myself...) Anyways so these are a few pictures from my presentation....


This is a picture of Brittany, a monkey (that reminds me of her... I was going to put it in her casket with her, but couldn't... Maybe someday it will find it's way to her grave...) And this is my Grandpa Marshall's ring... He ALWAYS had it on and was the one thing I wanted... This is probably pretty obvious, how it reminds me of death... These two deaths represent the beginning (may) and end (november) of a string of deaths that happened in my family that year...

I put these flowers representing death, because, although they are 'dead' many people hang them and see them as beautiful... This reminds me to not always think of death as a bad thing... No matter how bad it hurts us here, it is a beautiful thing for those that have gone before us (yes trust me I know easier said than lived...

This picture... Well I was unsure of even putting this picture in my presentation but felt I had to... After Brittany had died (the end of that year)... You could say I went off the deep end... I wrote in over 13 notebooks... Filled them up... With poems quotes letters, everything... And I have to say that helped... But I was extremely suicidal, and at a very bad place in my life... I felt there was nothing left and didn't care and convinced myself I couldn't feel anything anymore... (in a sense I was dead)...I think Kenny, Amanda, Kaitlin, Missy and Jess saw me at my very worst... Surprised Kenny stuck around? I am... I am truly lucky to have had people pull me out of this... Because as far as I was concerned, at the time, I was done...
This reminds me of Brittany (one of her favorite poems)... It's hanging on my wall in my room... No matter what you are going through in life... There is always one person there... God... This took me awhile to realize... When I had 'death' happen in my life, I am guilty of asking the question "Why would you do this to me... How could you do this... What did I do wrong" Very easy to do...
This is a picture of the VA hospital... This is where my Grandpa Marshall had to go alot (because he was a Vietnam Vet) He was diagnosed here with Agent Orange... And later (possibly because of the Agent Orange) was diagnosed with stomach lining cancer, which ultimately took his life... This picture represents death to me because of all the death I saw there.....
Hospital, for a lot of people reminds them of life, babies being born, or new beginnings... However, this past year the hospital room I was in was filled with hurt over a mother dying... one of my best friends here lost her mother... And in one of the hospital rooms is where I watched her mother flatline and slip away from her... where I literally caught her from almost flipping off the bed... Hospitals are so full of life... but also of death....
This is a song that comes on all the time on my IPOD (that has 3000+ songs on it) and everytime it comes on I think of Brittany... There are so many times I 'forget' I know that sounds dumb... But when I got my MCAT score I wanted to call her, and it took me a second... oh wait I can't...

I also had another picture... Because even though many people see death as a bad thing... There is another instance where it is seen as a good thing... Many people (more males than females, not to be stereotypical, but yah) see hunting, and killing an animal as praiseworthy... Kenny's Uncle Scott Ballard (you can google him) killed that national record elk... his name is brutus! (yes they named him and mounted him in their house)... He is HUGE! And this definitely was a good feat for him!

So needless to say, death can be seen in both ways... And death is something that is very close to my heart and I feel like I have a lot of personal ties... So I thought this was a good, hard, but good presentation... Definitely tested me in ways I was not sure I could overcome...

I thought, and so many people around me have thought, that having so many people close to me die would shun me away from the medical profession... why would I want to do that and be around that so much... I think it even shocked people that when we had to diagnose a 7mo old baby with cancer, there was no other place I would have rather been... I want to do that... I want to work with kids and help them when they're sick... I'm not sure and I'm keeping my options open but something amazing is going to have to come up in MedSchool to change my mind about wanting to be a Pediatrician....................